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Created Dec 06, 2009 01:00AM PST • Edited Dec 09, 2009 11:28PM PST

1. Quality

2. Summary

   OK 2.5

   Faux Dylan for extreme Dylanologists, I’m Not The-Her-Here-There revels in tragic hipness. Unapologetic and willfully – aggressively – nostalgic, it rambles through distorted fields of Dylanology. Non fanatics should steer clear.

   While the characters and storyline are takeoffs from the real Bob, the music isn’t. Some songs are sung by others, but the movie’s authentic Dylan songcraft boggles and teases. As always.

4. Acting

   Great 4.0

   Oddly in a movie about Bob Dylan, there’s not nearly enough Bob. Not that the esteemed actors don’t do good to great jobs playing – even singing – the Hibbing Bard. It’s that when his real voice and visage appear, he’s so much better that they seem weak indeed. Still…

   Cate Blanchett does a really great job capturing rock star Bob, frolicking with starlets and Beatles, indulging in androgyny years before Jagger or Bowie.

   Christian Bale does a very good job essaying the Ramblin’ Bob period, bedazzling Julianne Moore’s Baez. Bale gets by in so many movies without acting. Not here.

   Heath Ledger plays movie star Bob, the one who gets married and has kids. I declared Ledger’s Joker the greatest swan song in Hollywood history. This role the previous year reiterates that Heath had hit his stride right before he went toes up.

   Speaking of Bale and Ledger: Batman and Joker sure sound like Dylan characters.

5. Male Stars Very Good 3.5

   Bale, Gere

6. Female Stars Really Great 4.5

   Cate Blanchett

7. Female Costars Great 4.0

8. Male Costars Great 4.0

10. Film

    OK 2.5

    Waste deep in (passé) radical chic, Todd Haynes film also runs way too long at well over two hours.

11. Direction OK 2.5

12. Play Barely OK 2.0

13. Music Really Great 4.5

    Woulda’ been perfect if more Bob and less imposters.

    Still, songs like Stuck inside of Mobile with the Memphis Blues Again, Like a Rolling Stone and Simple Twist of Fate are always welcome, especially when sung by Bob the Bard himself.

    Visions of Johanna – OTOH – never satisfies.

14. Visuals Good 3.0
15. Content

16. Edge

    Tame 1.5

    IMDb says “some sexuality and nudity.” Some? I don’t remember any. Maybe that’s part of why I dinged it.

17. Sex Titillating 1.6

18. Violence Gentle 1.0

19. Rudeness Salty 1.9

21. Reality

    Glib 1.7

    Little to add here given all the ink that’s been spilled on Dylanology.

    From a strict reality POV, it doubles up on Bio and CircoReality, what with black boy Bob affecting an experienced hobo minstrel vibe while barely into his teens, and the story indulging in wholesale legend building.

22. Circumstantial Glib 2.0

23. Biological Surreal 2.1

24. Physical Natural 1.0