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Created May 12, 2012 06:59PM PST • Edited May 12, 2012 06:59PM PST

1. Quality

2. Summary

   Really Great 4.5

   This remarkably entertaining movie is a playful Tim Burton take on a good old fashioned horror/ghost story. More serious and gruesome than say, ‘Scooby Doo’ or the ‘Adams Family’, but more humorous than ‘Let the Right One In’. Depp plays Barnabus Collins, an 1800’s magnate who spurned an aspiring lover (Eva Green) – who just so happens to be a witch who curses him to be a vampire and tries to lock him away forever. This movie chronicles his comeback to an incredibly malformed family led by a take no prisoners Michelle Pfeiffer. All the elements of a good horror movie – set on the foggy damp coast of Maine in a scary looking mansion, vampires, spells that cause lovers to leap to their deaths, angry mobs, and – parties with Alice Cooper. Huh, what? Yeah that’s right. All this comes with an incredible use of humor that is very LOL, but not over the top with scenes that will leave a lasting impression (ever see a Vampire get it on with a witch?). This is a must see.

4. Acting

   Great 4.0

   Johnny Depp is, well, classic Depp. A bit more muted than in the past, but he still has his unmistakable flair and special brand of humor.

   Michelle Pfeiffer does classic humor like no other, and she shined in Dark Shadows. Watch out!

   Helena Bonham Carter – I wasn’t so impressed with Helena this time around. She was decent at the drunkard therapist, but I found her part a little lacking. Even the director of the film didn’t haver her in a very prominent role.

   Eva Green – awesome as one was one bad-ass witch; Nearly a match for Michelle.

   Bella Heathcote – a pretty face with an edge. She has a bit of maturation to go through to stand up to the likes of Pfeiffer, Depp, and Carter – but she’s on her way.

   Chloë Grace Moretz – fun to watch as a wayward teenager, who ends up being a warewolf.

   Gulliver McGrath – David Collins

   Alice Cooper – Dude still rocks!

5. Male Stars Great 4.0

6. Female Stars Great 4.0

7. Female Costars Great 4.0

8. Male Costars Great 4.0

10. Film

    Really Great 4.5

    I must say I enjoyed this Tim Burton more than all of his others. Even with the fantasy/horror backdrop, it somehow felt more down to earth and less ethereal. Just solid humor, great acting, and a very inventive storyline.

11. Direction Really Great 4.5

12. Play Really Great 4.5

13. Music Really Great 4.5

14. Visuals Really Great 4.5
15. Content

16. Edge

    Sordid 2.9

17. Sex Erotic 2.9

18. Violence Brutal 2.9

19. Rudeness Profane 2.9

21. Reality

    Supernatural 3.7

22. Circumstantial Supernatural 3.7

23. Biological Supernatural 3.7

24. Physical Supernatural 3.7