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Created Mar 08, 2013 09:32PM PST • Edited Mar 08, 2013 09:32PM PST

1. Quality

2. Summary

   Barely OK 2.0

   If you have seen Troy, 300, or Clash of the Titans – then you will know exactly what to expect. As for me? Ho Hum. Sure, there was lots of sword swinging, blood spurting, mythology spouting action — but really – it was hard to follow. Maybe because there was too much story? Ironically, the story in Immortals is only loosely (like, really loosely) based upon the true Greek myth of Theseus, the oft told tale of the mortal son of Aegeus and Poseidon. I think the only things that came close to the original story was a fight against someone who looked like a Minotaur, and an appearance from Poseidon. The rest of it was way off, and simply a vehicle for lots of fight scenes. If that’s what you are looking for, well, enjoy!

4. Acting

   Barely OK 2.0

   There really isn’t much to talk about acting wise. Henry Cavill is a pretty boy Theseus and plentiful ab-shots as he swings his sword is more prevalent than any acting.

   Mickey Rourke is barely recognizable as the ruthless King Hyperion. He seemed to grunt all of his lines and was otherwise just going through the motions.

   Luke Evans seemed the wrong choice for Zeus – he simply looks too young and boyish. Not big, strong, and thunderous as Zeus should be.

   Of note was the swift killing off of Mark Margolis – a very recognizable actor. He must have been desperate for a quick buck.

5. Male Stars Barely OK 2.0

6. Female Stars Barely OK 2.0

7. Female Costars Barely OK 2.0

8. Male Costars Barely OK 2.0

10. Film

    OK 2.5

    Some credit for the stylistic action and grandiose scenes – so a bit of that can be appreciated. But it was mostly overdone.

11. Direction OK 2.5

12. Play OK 2.5

13. Music OK 2.5

14. Visuals OK 2.5
15. Content

16. Edge

    Horrid 3.6

17. Sex Lewd 3.6

18. Violence Savage 3.6

19. Rudeness Nasty 3.6

21. Reality

    Fantasy 4.5

22. Circumstantial Fantasy 4.5

23. Biological Fantasy 4.5

24. Physical Fantasy 4.5