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Created Oct 11, 2013 12:13AM PST • Edited Jul 27, 2015 03:32PM PST

1. Quality

2. Summary

   Great 4.0

   Heterosexual relationships circa 2013 get skewered in Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s smoking hot opus Don Jon. The awkward title – albeit bold in its simplicity – undersells what an accomplished undertaking this is by JGL, who continues a long running ascent towards Hollywood immortality.

   His high-scoring playboy would rather play with himself than with his weekly conquests at the club. Well, in addition to his conquests. Dude’s got an above average sex drive – his right hand his frequent playmate.

   Don Jon is the second sex addiction comedy of the Fall, coming close on the heels of Thanks for Sharing, which apparently sank without a trace. Happily, Don Jon rides high, full of gusto and plenty of laughs.

   Nakedly ambitious, baldly ambitious you might say, Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s auteur debut succeeds critically and commercially. We’re talking Mr. Hollywood stuff for the TLA man.

   No wonder he’s smiling like a catbird between Julianne Moore and Scarlett Johansson in the poster above. After all, this is a modern sex comedy. He gets both girls.

   Don Jon’s not for the faint of heart and it’s a risky date movie, but it’s damn funny and true enough.

4. Acting

   Very Good 3.5

   Joseph Gordon-Levitt is sufficiently buffed up these days to be a credible Italian-Stallion, a nightclub ladykiller even, an all together Jersey Don Juan, er, Don Jon.

   Tony Danza thus makes perfect sense as his Dad, Father & son in guinea-tees getting under each other’s skin. That said, Danza and Glenne Headly as his Mom come perilously close to being stereotypes. As his sister, Brie Larson mostly has to be bored, though she does deliver one very good line.

   Scarlett Johansson seems to be having just a bit too much fun as the woman of his dreams. That said, I’ve never been a Scarlett Jo fan, though her voice in the Her trailer from before the movie has me rethinking.

   Julianne Moore delivers a touching performance as a bereaved woman who can teach a young man a thing or two.

   Rob Brown and Jeremy Luke are fine as his buddies, with Luke bringing to mind Turtle from Entourage.

   Then there are his various conquests, played by Antoinette Kalaj, Arayna Eison, Becky O’Donohue, Elena Kim and Tanya Mityushina. That must have been quite a casting session.

   Finally the faux romcom stars Anne Hathaway and Channing Tatum. That must have been fun to film.

5. Male Stars Great 4.0

6. Female Stars Very Good 3.5

7. Female Costars Very Good 3.5

8. Male Costars Very Good 3.5

10. Film

    Great 4.0

    Well done on the script and direction Joseph Gordon-Levitt, newly minted Hollywood auteur. You made your protagonists a bit too conventional, limiting you to an inside straight. However your excellent and extensive use of parallelism and repetition works exceedingly well, helping with the comedy most of all. Speaking of your comedy, it rocks, funny throughout and even LOL on occasion.

    Male POV

    Kinda giving away secrets to the other side, not just about masturbation but about how some guys on the make talk and think. While written by JGL, much of the behind the camera talent are women. Girl talk!

11. Direction Great 4.0

12. Play Great 4.0

    Sex comedies these days often include homosexual elements. Not Don Jon, making it easier to relate to for the majority of the populace who are straight, including me. Oddly enough, I’m guessing this was a somewhat brave decision on JGL’s part given the sexual politics of 2013 Hollywood.

13. Music Great 4.0

14. Visuals Very Good 3.5
15. Content

16. Edge

    Risqué 2.5

    Lots of porn viewed, no porn really seen. However…

    Lots of sex discussed, especially between three guys on the make, which could give some girls the wrong idea…

17. Sex Erotic 3.1

18. Violence Gentle 1.5

19. Rudeness Profane 2.8

21. Reality

    Glib 1.2

    JGL dares depict the inner workings of several sacred institutions.

    • Catholic Confessionals
    • Buddy Babe Hunting
    • Personal Pleasuring

    Each is somewhat revelatory and often amusing.

22. Circumstantial Glib 1.6

23. Biological Natural 1.0

24. Physical Natural 1.0