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Created Jan 14, 2008 11:55AM PST • Edited Jan 14, 2008 04:36PM PST

1. Quality

2. Summary

   Perfect 5.0

   Nobody could have made this film but Tim Burton. This is his niche, this is his film. I knew nothing about the broadway musical/other Sweeny films before seeing this movie, but if there’s any production better than this one I don’t want to know about it.

4. Acting

   Perfect 5.0

   Eyah.

5. Male Stars Perfect 5.0

   Johnny Depp, I’ve never enjoyed watching someone brood and be demonically employed so much. Is there anything he can’t do? Yes. He can’t suck.
   Alan Rickman, amazing as usual. No one else could have played this role better, though I feel that were Vincent Price still alive Burton would have cast him as the creepy Judge.
   Sacha Baron Cohen is a delightful surprise with a lovely singing voice.

6. Female Stars Perfect 5.0

   Helena Bonham Carter is so convincing in her role as Mrs. Lovett, and that goth look that Mr. Burton is so very fond of looks absolutely terrific on her.

7. Female Costars Perfect 5.0

8. Male Costars Perfect 5.0

10. Film

    Perfect 5.0

11. Direction Perfect 5.0

12. Play Perfect 5.0

13. Music Perfect 5.0

    Yep, I’ve got this soundtrack too.

14. Visuals Perfect 5.0
15. Content

16. Edge

    Risqué 2.3

17. Sex Innocent 1.5

18. Violence Savage 4.3

    Gruesome. Lots of throat slicing, lots of blood spurting and gurgling, but I totally ate popcorn during it.

19. Rudeness Polite 1.0

21. Reality

    Glib 1.4

22. Circumstantial Surreal 2.1

    Mrs. Lovett’s pies are people!! But how do they taste, you ask? Well, it varies from person to person.

23. Biological Natural 1.0

24. Physical Natural 1.0