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Wick's Review

Created May 26, 2010 11:08PM PST • Edited Dec 23, 2019 01:59AM PST

  1. Quality
  2. Very Good 3.5

    “Disappointing” summer blockbusters should all be this good. It nails the target – if not the bull’s-eye – of what they’re supposed to deliver: bravura moviestar performances, spectacular visuals, manly swordplay, and a touch of romance. At almost two and a half hours, this latest incarnation of the old English chestnut delivers plenty of entertainment value for the money.

    Heck, just Russell Crowe and Mark Strong’s climactic sword fight is a he-man extraordinaire big screen experience.

    Thus “they don’t make them like they used to” doesn’t apply here. Notwithstanding its modern production values (a wonder to behold), this classic tale could have come from Hollywood’s golden age.

    So what if it’s not Gladiator quality. It’s more than sequel worthy. A good thing, because Ridley Scott and Russell Crowe are gonna give ’em to us as surely as Robin Hood robs from the rich to give to the poor.

  3. Very Good 3.5

    What an extraordinary superstar Russell Crowe is. Charisma he’s got. Screen idol looks, not so much. Doughy-faced with protruding moles, he’s the least dreamy looking leading man in Hollywood history. But oh how the guy can act. With his light-heavyweight physique, he’s also a natural action hero. Characteristically determined, he doesn’t disappoint as Robin Hood. Then again, has he ever given a less than compelling performance?

    Cate Blanchette – the 21st Century Katharine Hepburn – never develops chemistry with Crowe. She’s magnificent, yet too austere.

    Mark Strong continues his Kick-Ass run of stellar supporting roles, here playing a traitorous British nobleman who’s really a closet Frenchman. Boo. Hiss.

    The rest of the cast is less distinctive, William Hurt amongst them. Wait, the great Max von Sydow is great, natch, as Hurt’s surrogate father.

  4. Male Stars Great 4.0
  5. Female Stars Very Good 3.5
  6. Female Costars OK 2.5
  7. Male Costars Very Good 3.5
  8. Great 4.0

    Producers Ridley Scott and Russell Crowe crafted this as an origin story. Now they’re teed up for at least a couple of sequels if they want. There ain’t a cash register big enough to hold all the coin they’re gonna collect off this franchise.

  9. Direction Great 4.0
  10. Play Very Good 3.5

    A story this good warrants being taken out for a spin every generation or so. This incarnation wrings every cliche out of the trusty tale, leading to more than a little emotional distancing.

  11. Music Very Good 3.5
  12. Visuals Perfect 5.0

    Wow. The scenes of the Tower of London in its heyday are spectacular. Other knockout visuals include

    • The Thames estuary.
    • The castle storming.
    • The regal white charger that Crowe appropriates.
  13. Content
  14. Risqué 1.9
  15. Sex Titillating 1.6
  16. Violence Brutal 2.6
  17. Rudeness Polite 1.5
  18. Glib 1.7

    Twelfth century European history gets squashed together, though not as much as some critics have claimed. Richard the Lionheart really did plunder his way across Europe as he returned from the 3rd Crusade. His troops apparently did slaughter thousands before leaving the Holy Land.

    His dissolute brother King John really was a bad king who ultimately did sign the Magna Carta, the first proclamation of citizen’s rights and limitation of the King’s powers.

  19. Circumstantial Surreal 2.1

    All of these epochal developments are thrown into the movie’s mix, with Russell Crowe’s Robin Hood in the middle of each. Real? No, surreal. So what. It’s all great historical fiction fun.

  20. Biological Glib 1.9
  21. Physical Natural 1.0


Subscribe to Robin Hood 4 replies, 2 voices
May 27, 2010 7:39PM

Regarding Wick’s Review
Nice review, Wick. Glad I wasn’t the only person on earth who liked it lol I’m not sure if it’ll have a sequel. But we’ll have to wait and see, I guess.

May 22, 2010 12:37AM

Regarding MetalJunky5000’s Review
Just saw it Junky. Loved it. Review forthcoming.

May 20, 2010 4:27PM

Thanks, Wick. It was a great movie. Just think of it as Gladiator in green tights lol